G Gundam: A Christmas Carol
by Sanzolicious
Summary: Join Domon(as Ebenezer Scrooge) as he tries to find the meaning of Christmas with the help of three spirits(Argo, Chibodee and George)
1. Domon Kasshu, meanest man in space

ligh Master Asia was dead to begin with. Dead and buried. When Master was alive, he'd had an apprentice named Domon Kasshu..  
Domon walked down the street to his business, glaring angrily at everyone. He gave nothing the poor starving people and ignored the needy ones who lined the street. The Neo Japanese gundam fighter had always been stingy and greedy, and on this cold December the 24th, he had no time for anyone. This was a very busy time for him.  
As Domon entered the hangar where he kept his gundam, he saw his new support crewmember, ex-Neo Danish gundam fighter, Hans Holgar.  
"Have you finished fixing the gundam?" Domon asked in a cold tone.  
"Well, almost, but our other associates would like it if you turned the heating on."  
"Yeah, We're freezing, we're dying" The ex-Neo American support girls, Shirley Cath, Janet, and Bunny howled.  
"Well then you're fired."  
"Never mind then."  
At that exact moment, Domon's brother Kiyoji walked in. The young man smiled cheerfully at Domon and walked towards him.  
"Merry Christmas, brother!" Kiyoji called out cheerfully  
"Bah, humbug." Domon responded.  
"Christmas is definitely not a "humbug", brother," Kiyoji scolded.  
"You and all the other happy Christmas loving morons should be stomped beneath Burning Gundam's foot." Domon replied, flatly.  
Kiyoji just rolled his eyes.  
"Well, brother, you're welcome to come have dinner with me and..well.my friends." Kiyoji offered  
Domon sneered and was about to reply, when all of the sudden, Wong Yunfa and a few other politicians from Neo Hong Kong walked in, looking quite poor now.  
"Mr. Kasshu, care to donate money to feed the starving people of Neo HongKong?" Wong asked.  
"What's wrong? Haven't you got soup kitchens and homeless shelters?" Domon sneered.  
"Well yes, but my colony's people would rather die than go there."  
"Well if they're going to die, they'd better do it and decrease the surplus population!"  
As soon as Wong had left, Hans approached Domon.  
"Um..sir, I was wondering if I could take the day off tomorrow, it being Christmas and all."  
"Whatever" Domon sneered, as he exited the building and began walking home.  
When Domon reached the door and was about to open it, master asia's face suddenly appeared on the door knocker. Domon freaked out, but master's head soon disappeared. Domon shook his head, it was over, and all was right.  
However, Domon was wary, and he decided to his house. He turned on all the lights and looked around, he found nothing, so he sat down and began to eat his dinner (instant Ramen). All of the sudden, Master Asia appeared to his young pupil, master was wrapped in chains and ropes.  
"Master!? But you're dead! You cannot be here!"  
"Why do you doubt your senses, Domon?"  
"Because you may just be rancid sushi! There's more gravy than the grave about you!"  
Master rolled his eyes and shook his chains. "You will be haunted by three spirits tonight, my pupil!"  
"No, please, I don't wanna be haunted."  
"TOO BAD, WHELP! Expect the first ghost tonigh, when the bell tolls one!"  
Domon went to bed, still shivering with fear. He lay down and tucked himself in and slipped into a dreamless sleep. Suddenly, there was a bright light and a tall red haired, violet eyed figure appeared next to his bed in flowing robes and a crown of holly.  
  
"Greetings, Domon Kasshu, I am the spirit of Christmas past. I can remember nearly 1900 years."  
"George?"  
"No, I'm no longer George De Sand, I am the ghost of Christmas past." George said. 


	2. Domon's past

"Domon Kasshu, I am here regarding your well being." George answered seriously.  
"If you didn't just almost give me a heart attack, I'd still have my well being."  
"GEORGIEEEEEEKINS!!!! DOMIIIEEEE!!!" George was glomped from behind by a seemingly crazy guy in a Father Christmas robe and antlers  
"*Pssst** Chibodee, you're not on yet, go get some coffee or something."  
"Oh, right, sorry." the distraught Neo American gundam fighter answered, leaving the set.  
"At any rate, if not your well being, Mr. Kasshu I am here regarding your salvation." George responded, "We will return now to your childhood." George stood on the windowsill.  
"But George, I'm not a spirit, I'll fall out the window and die, and that would make Rain unhappy."  
" Domon, you are not married to rain in this little performance." George hissed, so that the readers wouldn't hear him, "Anyway, Mr. Kasshu, take my hand and you shall fly."  
"Okay.." Domon grasped George's hand and they flew off into the past.  
The duo gracefully touched down in Neo Japan, where Kiyoji and young Domon Kasshu were playing in the yard, it was the Christmas of FC 49, and Domon saw his ten year old self telling his older brother what he wanted for Christmas. Kiyoji just smiled and nodded, telling Domon that Santa was not, in fact, real and it was Mr. And Mrs. Kasshu who brought the presents every year. The ten-year-old Domon burst into tears and yelled that Kiyoji was lying.  
"Yup, that's the year my brother ruined Christmas for me."  
"Stupid big shot, who does he think he is being in a flashback and being Fred all in one show." George sniffed. "Ah well, anyway, let's go see another Christmas in your past, Domon."  
George and Domon were now in Neo Japanese home; the Domon in this scene was about 17 or 18 years old and was talking happily to Rain Mikamura.  
"Yes, now let's see another Christmas with this beautiful young lady." George ducked out of the way, as Maria Louise aimed a heavy blow at him with her purse. "I mean, this young lady who er.isn't as beautiful as miss Maria Louise" George said, grabbing Domon by the shirt and rushing through the time warp, escaping the mad princess.  
It was now the year of the 13th Gundam fight, Chibodee stood talking to Allenby while a 14 year old Neo Irish/Neo Korean girl cuddles Chibodee's middle section (around his abs, for anyone who's and idiot and thinks that means *cough**cough* well, y'know). And there stood Rain, yelling at Domon that their relationship was over.  
"Show me no more, spirit," Domon sobbed, and George waved his arms like a real spirit, and Domon was back in his own bed, sobbing.  
"Was it only a dream?" Domon thought to himself, until his thoughts were interrupted by a loud obnoxious voice he knew all too well.  
"HO HO HO! C'MON IN, AND KNOW ME BETTER MAN!" the voice called, and Domon walked into his kitchen to see Chibodee drinking all the good booze, wearing antlers and a father Christmas robe.  
"Oh no, not you, go away, Chibodee, you can't bum anymore booze off of me, it's your fault Clover and Roan made you go to counseling."  
" Shhh!!! Clover and Roan don't exist in this show, I'm the childless, wifeless, responsibility-less GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT!" Chibodee grinned, edging away from Ulube, who was directing the show and about to smack Chibodee upside the head with a clipboard. 


	3. The Present

"Anyway, I'll bet you're going to say you've never met someone like me before, did I mention that I'm the ghost of Christmas present?"  
"Yes, you did, and yeah, Chibodee, I met you four year ago..er, I mean, no spirit, I've never met anyone like you before!!!" Domon immediately corrected himself, as co-director, Nastasha Zabigopf brandished her riding crop.  
"Anyway, I'm going to show you what Christmas is like now!" Chibodee said, taking Domon's hand (fingers laced) and walking out into the streets.  
"Wow, Chibodee, it's really pretty out here in town on Christmas!" Domon smiled, for once in his life feeling light hearted.  
"Yeah, I know, hey, wanna go grab some coffee with me, Domon.eh.I mean, yes, yes, let's go visit your brother, Kiyoji" Chibodee said, as Ulube made a very violent motion as if he'd like nothing more than to strangle Chibodee right now, Wong and Master Asia were doing all they could to hold him back, as well as doctors Kasshu and Mikamura who right now were injecting anger management medicine into Ulube's upper arm.  
"Um.whatever, sure, that'd be great" Domon smiled, as he and Chibodee reappeared in Kiyoji's house where Kiyoji and his friends (including the mummy of Dahal Muhammad who threatened to haunt the studio if they didn't give him a part.) were singing, dancing and eating.  
"HEEEEY!! NO FAIR, I WANT SOME BOOZE TOO!" Chibodee whined. "Oh, wait, I forgot, they can't see or hear us, cause we're spirits, duh!"  
Domon stared in awe at Chibodee, wondering how anyone could say so many idiotic things in one breath.  
"Anyway, now we're gonna go visit Hans and his family, okay?"  
"Hans has a family?"  
"Yes" Chibodee replied, as they arrived at Hans' house.  
Inside, Allenby and Cecil were busy cooking a really tiny turkey, and Ming and Hoy were setting the table. Hans was just coming home, with Sai saici on his back.  
"Why'd they cast Sai as tiny Tim?" Domon asked.  
Chibodee shrugged "Cause Argo's too big to be tiny Tim and everyone else has a part, I guess."  
Hans and his family sat down to Christmas dinner. They said their prayers, and Hans raised his glass.  
"To Mr. Kasshu, the founder of the feast."  
"Founder of the feast my butt!" Allenby responded. "If he was here right now, I'd give him a knuckles sandwich to feast upon and I'll bet he'd choke on it!"  
Hans, Cecil, Sai Saici, Ming and Hoy all blinked staring at Allenby.  
"Oh alright, cheers." Allenby said, raising her glass.  
"Chibodee, does this mean Sai Saici will die?"  
" not in real life, but in this show, I see a vacant room in the shaolin temple, and a Dragon Gundam without an owner."  
"No, Chibodee! Sai can't die! He has to have an annoying kid to be friends with any annoying kids I have!"  
"Domon, I gotta remind you, Sai is still alive in real life, and you are not married to Rain in this show, so how would you have any annoying kids, besides, Sai is tiny Tim who is like, what? 5 years old? That's way too young to have kids." Chibodee responded. "anyway, I'm really tired and Ulube says my scene ends upon the stroke of twelve.."  
"NOOOOO CHIBODEEEEE!!!!! DON'T LEAVE, YOU'RE THE SEXIEST SPIRIT OF ALL! PLEASE! COME LIVE WITH ME!"  
"Domon, this is 19th century England, not San Francisco, and I think you're sexy too, but now Argo gets to torment you with morals and stuff."  
'NO!!! CHIBODEE! ARGO ISN'T SEXY LIKE YOU!"  
"Good-bye, Domon" Chibodee said, disappearing. 


	4. finale

But Domon's words had no affect, and when Chibodee was gone, a gigantic man in a space suit stood before him.  
"So you are the spirit of Christmas yet to come?"  
Argo Gulskii simply nodded, not changing his facial expression and not speaking.  
"Will you not speak to me?"  
Argo took Domon by the arm and walked him into a cold, bleak city. In the city, Domon saw that people would write fanfics, claiming him to be a jerk and a child abuser, and still other people would write fanfics about his secret gay relationship with Chibodee, and he'd be hated by both of Chibodee's kids and Allenby would hate him, and Allenby's kid would hate him. AND MICHELO CHERIOT WOULD BATHE IN PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!! That was the worse vision of all, Domon cried out in fear.  
"OH, SPIRIT!! THESE THINGS-especially that last one- MUST NOT COME TRUE!!!"  
Argo simply held up a sign which read "Clover and Roan already think you're a complete asshole. And xxDGcellchibodeexx and saisaiciangel have already written such fan fictions about you."  
"But I thought this was yet to come!"  
Argo took Domon by the arm and walked him to a grave; Domon leaned down and read the grave 'Chibodee Crocket'.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" suddenly, Domon woke up, safe in his bed, with the three spirits all standing next to him holding flowers and get well cards.  
"Hey, Neo Japan, you fell off the set and got barbequed by the lights, how ya feelin'?"  
"Yes, Domon, we were all quite concerned when major Ulube had to call five ambulances until one could actually pick you up."  
"Domon..I'm sorry..it was only a show.."  
"I'm okay!!! You guys, the spirits changed my whole outlook on life! Thank you!"  
"Will he be okay?" Rain asked as she walked in.  
" Mr. Kasshu, I don't hate you..and my brother doesn't hate you either." Clover said.  
"Well, Domie, I'm glad you're okay!"  
"Domon, if you'd been killed by those lights, we'd have no fighter for any gundam fights after this."  
"Are you alright son? And how come I never knew you were gay?"  
"Domon's gay? Then what about my daughter?! Who will she marry?"  
"How about Shirley? Or Cath? Or Janet..or Bunny" Chibodee suggested.  
Soon after, Chibodee took off running while Rain chased him with a giant sledgehammer.  
"YOU STOLE MY FIANCE` AND THEN YOU OFFER ME ONLY GIRLS?!!!!!"  
"But Rain!!!! Domon and I are in love!" Chibodee whimpered, running out of the hospital.  
"Well, looks like I'll be giving you a ride home, Clover.." Allenby sighed, taking the small blue haired girl by the hand and walking outside.  
"Sorry Domon, according to the author, I'm scheduled to be dismembered back in Neo Russia right now, so my daughter, Ruki, can have a tragic childhood.bye"  
"I too must leave, Domon, for no obvious reason as miss Maria Louise has no clue where I am."  
"God bless us, everyone, bro!" Sai Saici said, from the place he'd been sitting at Domon's feet. 


End file.
